The Dirty Dozen - Top 12 Dating Pet Peeves of Single Women
Here we go. The definitive list of women's top dozen dating pet peeves, in no particular order:
Sexual Innuendo
Why do so many men feel it is cute, gentlemanly, intelligent or necessary to start with the sexual conversation right off the bat? Usually before you even know his middle name he is making inquiries about what positions you like or what kind of panties you wear. Some want to brag about how they satisfy women, about their lack of need for Viagra, or their equipment size. Do we really need to know that? Do we care? No and No.
Male Chauvanist or Mysognist
Anytime a man makes a statement that begins with "you women always..." or "you women are all..." followed by something negative, a woman with high self esteem will exit the budding relationship. Women want to be with a man that truly loves women. He understands that we are different, but finds those differences fascinating, not a source of material to taunt us or to make himself feel superior.
Being A Cheapskate
I went out once with a guy that took me to an inexpensive pasta place for dinner... our bill was no more than $18. No problem, I liked the food though it was noisy with all those toddlers running around and babies screaming. But he left our very excellent waiter only a 50 cents tip! I threw down a $5 bill. Being money conscious, especially on first dates and in this economy is fine! But do not EVER be cheap.
Taking Physical Liberties
Keep your hands to yourself. Don't "accidentally" touch a woman's breasts, butt, or try to sneak in a kiss. Don't ask for a kiss, and don't grab or try to give her a hug if she has given you no such signals. Be respectful of the fact that though you might find your date very attractive, but there is no guarantee the feeling is mutual. Allow women the space to grow comfortable with you as a man before you start touching on anyone's body.
Suffocating Clinginess
Some people (both men and women) attach themselves too quickly. Meaning, after just one date and maybe a phone call or two, they become unbelievably possessive and jealous; they consider you to be "theirs." Should you go out with someone else, to them you are cheating and become a whole litany of unattractive adjectives. Someone that moves towards commitment and exclusivity faster than I am comfortable with is someone most people shy away from.
Cell Phone Texting or Talking
You are not a doctor and you are not on call! There is nothing that is going on in your life that should be more important than the business at hand - getting to know me! Some guys try to act like they are so alla that and must answer every single phone call (talking loudly so everyone can hear!), and respond to every single text message. Such behavior is very rude and doesn't make a date feel very special or important. Major no-no!
Tacky, Ill Mannered, or Rude
A man that can be gracious and respectful to those he feels are "beneath" him is seen as a great human being. Men that think they are better than others due to their profession, car, education, etc. and lord it over waiters and parking attendants is someone most women dump quickly. Bad table manners, chewing with the mouth open, not using a napkin to wipe the face, talking with food in the mouth. Belching, eating fast. Gross!
Overly Romantic
This is definitely a personal thing because some women just LOVE a guy to write them or recite romantic poetry, love songs, and love letters. But what if your date really isn't into poetry? Making such overly romantic gestures on the first or second date seems inappropriate. Though he may be sincere, most women would put him in the "I'm gaming with this romantic drivel to get some tail!" category.
Poor Grooming
Under this umbrella is funky smells, unibrows, teeth that haven't seen a toothbrush or dental floss in days, wrinkled or holey or mismatched clothes, uncut hair on head or face, dirty nails, unpolished or dirty shoes. At least make an effort in the early phases of dating to look and smell good for your date, otherwise she may feel you aren't worth putting time and energy into.
Argumentative and Overly Opinionated
Agree to disagree on social issues that neither one of you has the power to solve. Talking over your date, yelling, or arguing your position repeatedly when she heard you the first time is unnecessary. The goal is not to compete and for you to WIN against her in a discussion dude. Your goal is to enjoy the time together you're sharing on your date, and get to know each other better.
Talking About Prior Relationships and/or Most Recent Ex
Bottom line, nobody cares about your ex or your relationship with her. Write it in your diary or tell yo' momma, because really, no woman you are dating will ever care. Really.
Flakiness
Not Calling When You Say You Will, Showing up Late or Not Showing Up at All. It's important that a man do what he says he is going to do, and when he does a woman can build confidence and faith in him. Slowly but surely, step by step the right man can draw a girl in with his steadfastness and dependability. A guy that calls and changes the date time, then calls again because he is running late, then shows up even later than that is not going to win Brownie points.
About the Author
Deborrah has authored dozens of relationship articles and writes a weekly advice column using the pen name "Ms. HeartBeat." Her works appear on the website AskHeartBeat.com, which focuses on the relationships of both teens and adults. She also blogs regularly on the issues of single men and women over the age of 35 on Surviving Dating.
Deborrah Cooper is also the author of the hilarious dating guide Sucka Free Love which provides hilariously witty, street-smart yet insightful analysis of the real world issues facing singles today such as interracial dating, FWBs, and the many games singles play.
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