Life After Divorce - Why Being Single Leads To A Successful Remarriage

Life After Divorce - Why Being Single Leads To A Successful Remarriage

If you're divorced you've probably heard the phrase, "You'll move on" to the point where you're ready to strangle the next person who says it. Somehow people seem to think it's a consoling phrase. Personally, I'm not so sure. The problem with it is that it doesn't mean anything. Moving on sounds good, but what is it? How do you know when you've done it? What's involved in doing it? I'd like to suggest, instead something a little more practical in the way of advice.

Rather than "move on", I'd like to suggest that you aim for becoming comfortable with being single. When first divorced, you may be really uncomfortable about doing things like going out to eat or to a movie alone. Depending on when you got married, you may never have done those things before. You may have gone straight from mom & dad's house to your married home. Doing things alone may be completely foreign to you. Fears of what people will think about you doing "couple" activities solo will creep in and make you uncomfortable.

You know you've "moved on" when you stop worrying what other people think. In fact, you may have discovered you enjoy doing those things solo. It costs less and you don't have to have conversations with anyone if you don't want to. You can now revel in time by yourself instead of needing constant companionship. A sense of calm and comfort in who you are is now present.

Finally, another great way to know you've achieved this "moving on" is when you aren't constantly on the "prowl" to find a date because you don't want to be alone. Being by yourself on a Saturday is no longer the worst thing you can think of. In fact, you may find yourself looking forward to having some downtime while the kids are at their other parent's house. You have your own plans now - plans that you enjoy. Some of those plans will include others, but they don't HAVE to due to discomfort of being alone.

Depending on how long it's been since the divorce, this may seem like a place you'll never be able to reach. I encourage you to hold your chin up high and prove to yourself just how strong you are - what you are capable of on your own. Believe it or not, being comfortable with being single is an essential step toward remarriage success. Research shows over and over again that people who choose to be in a remarriage in order to compliment the lives they've already established are much more successful than those that are rush into one to feel complete.

If you'd like more great resources to help you "move on", I invite you to visit us at RemarriageSuccess.com. There you will find article archives, forums, tips of the week, resources and other sites that will get you on your way toward your very own remarriage success!

Does the idea of learning from other divorced and remarried parents sound appealing to you? Well, come on in to The Community then! We exist as a place where parents can ask questions and offer support to one another. Check us out at RemarriageCommunity.com

And if you enjoyed this article, why not receive a few every Friday with our Tip of the Week? I encourage you to get all the details at RemarriageSuccess.com/tip.htm today.

By Alyssa Johnson at Remarriage Success.