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Over 40 and Single  - Article Details

How to Combat Loneliness and Lead A Happy Life

Date Added: June 12, 2011 11:25:38 PM
Author: Richard Hamon
Category: Single Living

How to Combat Loneliness and Lead A Happy Life

In my role as therapist, I have found a secret weapon for helping people to combat loneliness and depression. Simply put, smile and think strategically. When you are lonely or sad, you may look miserable or broken-hearted. Without realizing it, you are sending the wrong signal. You're saying, "Leave me alone! I'm troubled, sad and lonely!

Do Something DIfferent

An easy way to manage loneliness is to smile more often. But you may ask, How can I smile when I don't feel like it? Just think of something that will make you smile. Direct your thoughts along positive lines. Find something upbeat or inspirational to think about (as opposed to sitting around and dwelling on lonely feelings).

A Few Tips On How To Smile More

1. Simply count your blessings and be thankful for those fortunate moments that have come your way in the past. Let those blessings comfort you. Ask yourself what you are grateful for. Make a list, if you wish. The feeling of gratitude combats loneliness and depression, and warms your soul.

2. If you want to manage loneliness and encourage yourself to smile, spend some time recalling pleasant memories. Instead of focusing on bad memories, current problems or holding fears and insecurities in your mind, concentrate on the good times. Look at an old photo album and let your mind wander back over the happy faces and special occasions from the past. Re-acquaint yourself with family members and friends you haven't seen in a long time.

3. Another way to combat loneliness and smile more is to spend more time with children. Children will make you laugh and keep you young. They don't worry. They just want to have fun. They laugh and smile frequently. What a good role model for us all-too serious adults! Yesterday I saw a couple of little girls at a cafe' in my small town, and they cracked me up dancing and cutting up in line. They were adorable and full of life. I just laughed and laughed. What a joy it was to have crossed their path. Look for opportunities right under your nose to enjoy the blessings of children. They are among life's greatest treasures.

Join in the fun and you'll be part of the treasure!

Don't Complain

When managing loneliness, it will help to avoid complaining. Complaining only makes you feel worse. And it will keep you from fully accepting reality. It may make you feel justified in being miserable, too.

Complaining is addictive, I might add. The more we complain the worse it gets. For some, life is nothing but a "complaint narrative" which encourages them to look for things to complain about. And how easily complaining can end up becoming a pity party!

Try smiling when you catch yourself complaining. It's hard to do. We have to stop complaining to smile. Find something -- anything -- to smile about! Soon you'll feel better because smiling is like an anti-depressant that helps the brain think it's feeling good again. Plus, when you smile, people will want to spend time with you. So you'll find it easier to make friends. Smile even when you don't feel like it, and you'll soon be able to manage your loneliness like never before.

Remember To Use Your Secret Weapon Often To Reduce Loneliness

When you smile you'll feel connected to others and the world in a positive way, and you won't feel so lonesome, so isolated. Just smile from the heart to put your secret weapon to work for you. But beware the side effects of smiling: people will smile back at you.

About the Author
Richard Hamon is a licensed therapist and certified coach with over 30 years of experience. Richard helps people solve their relationship problems, enjoy truly extraordinary relationships and find exceptional success in all areas of their lives.

Go to Richard's website at and schedule an appointment, take a relationsihp quiz or check out Richard's many articles on mental health topics.

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