First Dates – Terrific or Traumatic

First Dates – Terrific or Traumatic

By: Nancy H. Wall, PhD, Certified Life Coach and MatchMaker

Think about those really good first dates you have been on? What do you recall made them “really good?”

Now think about those pretty bad first dates…...what were they like for you? Lastly, remember those really horrible, never-to-forget first dates? Why were they so awful?

We have all had our share of each type of date. We will readily admit to that! Why were some of those dates so good, and some dates so very bad?

Let’s look at the 3 parts to every date, and what you can do to make this first date the best date possible. First you have to prepare for the date, then what you do during the date, and finally the after, or follow-up, that happens after the date.

How do you prepare for a first date?

- Choose and agree on the right place and the right time to meet
- Select appropriate attire - consider the location of the date, the time, and what outfit you feel good in
- Do your homework and find out what you can about the person you are going to meet
- Review your dating “dos and don’ts” (what to talk about on the first date, and what to avoid, etc.)


How do you act during the first date?

- Be on time
- Be attentive - Focus on the other person, getting to know him/her, while also staying self aware
- Flirt if you feel comfortable
- Stay in the present with your focus, attitude and conversation
- Be positive, genuine and authentic……be you!
- Consider body language, both your own and the other person’s verbal and non-verbal cues
- Evaluate any “red flags” that appear to you
- Offer to go “Dutch treat” to avoid unnecessary stress and expectations


What should you do after the first date?

- Be direct – don’t play games
- Call and ask the person out again, if you wish
- Thank him/her for the date and time you spent together
- Communicate honestly
- Practice!

About the Author
For over 20 years, Dr. Wall has been instrumental in designing and facilitating adult education programs for major corporations, universities, community colleges, and the Tampa Jewish Family Services. Prior to starting Tampa Bay MatchMakers, she formed the Tampa Jewish Singles Network, a workshop series which provided education, information, and support for single parents and their children.

Dr. Wall earned her PhD in Adult Education from the University of South Florida, an MBA from Crummer Graduate School/Rollins College, a BS in Psychology from Duke University, and certifications in Project Management from George Washington University, Life Coaching from Coach Training Alliance, and Matchmaking from the Matchmaking Institute in New York.

Visit: Tampa Bay MatchMakers