Dating Over 40: Does It Help to Be Bitter About Dating?

Dating Over 40: Does It Help to Be Bitter About Dating?

Let me ask you a question in the way that Carrie Bradshaw, the character from Sex in the City might ask: Does being bitter about dating help you in the dating world? Or to say it shorter - is bitter better?

I've been wracking my brain quite frankly, trying to find the silver lining in being bitter. To be honest, I haven't had much success with this search. Yet, so many women who are dating over 40 or dating post divorce seem to be intensely bitter about men and dating.

Last night I was sitting at a table of women I had just met - we were at an upscale networking event. One very attractive woman with an exquisite and rather large diamond pulled my coupon for my workshop out of her goodie bag and made a face.

Her comment said it all, "Come on, all the good men are taken or gay." Gee, as a dating coach for women over 40, I've never heard that before - just kidding. But I can say, I don't usually hear this type of limited thinking from a married woman. I pointed out how untrue that statement is and she backed down, admitting she knew it wasn't true. But she still said it - Why?

Certainly we've all heard single women utter this complaint. I know it can seem like the statement is true, but that is a self-defeating trap. As your dating coach, I urge you not to fall victim to it.

But, why would a married woman say this? Let's examine what might be behind this belief system:

• Maybe she believes what the media says about finding love. Heck, you can't believe everything you read, hear and see on the Internet, in print or on broadcast news. So much is owned by entertainment companies today that accurate news reporting is no longer the game. Now it's pleasing the viewers/listeners to get more ratings/traffic.

• Newsweek printed an article in 1987 claiming it was more likely for a single woman over 35 to be abducted by terrorists than get married for the first time. You know which one happened to me. (I got married!) The facts were just plain WRONG!

• This is commonly accepted thinking so repeating this statement makes her look like she is going along with the crowd and she likes to fit in.

• She's heard enough single girlfriends complain about this that she believes it's true.

This well-meaning married woman is perpetuating a painful belief system that has little merit, yet influences others as they stack up all the evidence that there are no good men left. Keep this in mind, before Christopher Columbus sailed west to the new world, the sailing world held firm to the idea that the earth was flat. Most people believed it, but it wasn't true was it? Nope.

Popular thinking does NOT mean something is true. However, you can make it true for you if you choose to go along and operate under this incorrect belief. You can stack up the evidence and prove yourself right. You can remain unmotivated and single to show the world there are no good men left.

You can make yourself sad and miserable by holding this belief as true. You can continue to criticize every man you met and show why he's not good enough and how he proves the theory that there are no good men.

Or...

You can fly in the face of popular and accepted beliefs to create your own, more positive belief system as I did and so many others who have successfully found a loving partner.

• You can look for evidence that there are good men and notice good men all around you.
• You can go out to meet new men and see potential in them.
• You can use affirmations to strengthen your beliefs and ability to attract the good men who are out there.
• You can make yourself available, approachable and desirable so the good men can find you.
• You can redefine what a good man is so that you recognize a good man when you encounter one.

Actually, what you CAN do to support your belief that finding love is possible is limitless. In fact, finding love is your destiny, if that is what you believe, because your beliefs totally impact your life experience.

When you work with me as your dating coach, I'll ask you to please choose wisely. Choose to see options. Choose to hold a positive outlook. Choose to find love rather than complain it doesn't exist. Because it most certainly does exist if you can just believe and give it a chance to manifest.

Discover 5 Big Turnoffs that Drive Men Away and 7 Surefire Ways to Make Men Want You by Ronnie Ann Ryan, The Dating Coach. Get her FREE ebook instantly, at NeverTooLate.biz Ronnie found love and married after 40 and knows you can too! She's helped thousands of people successfully jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. People fall in love every day. You could be next!