Dating After Divorce: Be Positive To Find Love

Dating After Divorce: Be Positive To Find Love

I'm here to offer some words of advice to all of you women who find yourself dating after divorce: keep a positive attitude. Too many times I encounter women who are newly divorced, or have been divorced for decades that say and constantly think negative thoughts about themselves and the possibility of finding a new romantic partner. If you want to find a date, a lover, or a husband you must change your attitude NOW!

The first step I give to my clients who want to be involved in a great relationship is to set an intention. What do you want? Do you want someone to date casually? Are you looking for a companion to go to the movies and dinner with and nothing more? Are you looking for a partner or husband to share your life with and grow with? What is your intention when looking for a man?

The second step is you are open to receiving love and companionship in your life. I have found with most of my clients and readers that they are unwilling to open themselves up to being in another committed relationship after their divorce. They may say they want commitment but after the pain and heartbreak of a relationship gone sour, their actions state otherwise. Now that you're dating after divorce, do you always seem to attract men who are emotionally unavailable? Do you date married men, or men who are already committed to someone else? Do you consistently date men who state that they are not interested in commitment but you stay with them hoping you can "change their minds?" If any of the above scenarios sound familiar you are sabotaging yourself from finding true and lasting love.

The third step is to start thinking positively about you, about men in general, and about relationships. Do you put yourself down mentally or verbally with thoughts like "I'm too fat," or "Who would want me?" Are you constantly thinking and saying that there are no good men out there or that all the good ones are either taken or gay? Do you believe that all men cheat or just want sex and nothing else? What do you think or say about relationships? That marriage is doomed to fail or that relationships are out there for everyone else but you?

If any of these statements sound familiar, then stop this thinking right now! Start thinking positive, good things about yourself, about men, and about relationships. Notice when these negative thoughts come to mind and instantly replace them with positive ones. If you start thinking that you're unattractive or too old to find a good guy, automatically replace that thought with "I am a wonderful, smart woman." If you are frustrated with the perceived lack of men in the dating pool state out loud "There are many great men just waiting to meet me." If you or a friend start commiserating about how relationships always turn sour and are hard work, immediately change your mindset and tell your friend that good relationships can last and can come easily.

By following these suggestions and changing your mindset from positive to negative, you will equip yourself to find dating after divorce a pleasurable journey to finding the wonderful relationship and loving partner you wish for. Remember to be positive to find love!

Having trouble in your dating life after divorce? Don't know what you're doing wrong? Want to be attractive to men? My new book: "From Ex to Next! An Empowered Women's Guide to Dating after Breakup or Divorce" will help you discover all this and more at Amazon.com

About the Author
Kim Hess is a dating and divorce expert, author, radio show host, and divorcecolumnist. Get great, free advice about divorce and dating at her website KimHess.com